updates

I've been asked to update my blog. (snicker) I told her that requires effort.I suppose since it's Xmas break I could bust out a little effort.

So what up... Still pressing on w/ living healthy. Took 10 minutes off my last years 5k time. Am pretty proud of that. My goal for next years turkey day race is to run the whole thing w/o intervals.

Homeschooling is ok. I will confess to strong feelings of wanting to send one of my children to school. Never thought I'd want to do that. But I have never been so miserable in teaching either. We're both miserable in it. On the other hand, me and my 6th grader read Where the Red Fern Grows this year and couldn't get enough of it. He bawled his eyes out at the end. Poor kid! I thoroughly enjoyed every minute of that w/ him.

Christmas break has been quite nice. Have had more appts than I'd like to have, but that's life. We've had some nice days of baking, and reading winter stories. Many nights of cuddling. We hooked our netflix up to the wii and have had lot's of fun w/ it. I'm completely hooked on American Pickers! I don't know what I'm gonna do when I catch up w/ their current eps. But I've got a while, I'm not thru w/ season 1 yet. We could sure use more snow tho. And am not getting any soon. We're actually warming up to 50 this week. Good for me tho, I can run outside.

What'd you get for xmas? One of our Uncles got us the balance board for the wii and a snow board game, fun stuff! It also came w/ wii fit plus, so I've gotten a double blessing w/ it:)

Scotts still plugging along in school. We all enjoyed his break. I'll admit that it's been pretty rough at times tho. I don't like feeling like a single parent. I know he doesn't have it any easier. Not saying it's his fault. He's got a lot oh his shoulders. Stress is a hard thing to deal with, it affects us all in so many ways. Makes us unhappy when we don't even realize it. Sometimes I find myself checking out mentally and emotionally b/c I just feel like I can't take it. I'm extremely thankfull for these breaks. And will be praying for God to show me how to deal w/ it a healthier way:)Took a few road trips this summer/fall. Went to Kentucky and Arkansas. Here's some pics:



Ok, only 2. I loaded 4, but for some reason it only gave me 2, and as I said, it takes effort. Effort that I'm not willing to put forth... The 1st one is from this amazing wall in Kentucky. If you know me at all, go to my FB page and look in my 2010 album for the rest of the wall, it's AMAZING. The other pic is of my beautiful albeit hilbilly-ish looking bff Trish about to enjoy one of the must haves, a Lamberts THROWED ROLL! If your anywhere near a Lamberts:) (please, click the link!) They are the best! It's a fun and unique place to go. We had one close to us when we lived in Springfield. And when I realized how close we were on our way to Arkansas I knew we had to stop on our 2cd trip. They loved it, of course;)

I doubt if I'll be on b4 the new year, so here's me wishing you and yours a Happy Safe 2011!!

wordless wednesday...

AT&T - Use Vinegar for All Your Health and Beauty Needs

AT&T - Use Vinegar for All Your Health and Beauty Needs

If ya know me at all, you know how much I love vinegar! But I didn't know half of these, this is just cool!! I'm going to try the varicose veins, and the apple cider vinegar to curb sugar cravings.

For the sake of your emotional well-being and that of your loved ones, I pray your football team excels this year | Sports Ecard | someecards.com

For the sake of your emotional well-being and that of your loved ones, I pray your football team excels this year | Sports Ecard | someecards.com

It is that time of year again!! GO IRISH!!!

Medical Student Won't Perform Pelvic Exams on Anesthetized Patients - The Unnecesarean -

Medical Student Won't Perform Pelvic Exams on Anesthetized Patients - The Unnecesarean -

This practice is just horrific. But sounds as though it's another one of those things that has always been done, so will always be done.

squeeze, squish, stretch and otherwise fondle.

I had my 1st mammogram. I'm only 35. Why you may ask?? B/c I'm adopted and I have no family history to look back on.

About a week later I get a call saying I need to back for a specialized pic of my left breast, and an ultrasound. My heart flutters. Nothing is wrong they reassure me, they just can't see as well as they would like. They schedule it, then I get a letter in the mail with not so reassuring wording, "your bilateral screening shows the need for further evaluation." That makes me feel lot's better.

I go back, they do more stretching and squishing and do the ultrasound, and are very tightlipped about it. I just think, 'this is my body, you can talk to me about it you know?' The ultrasound tech was the only one who actually did. At one point I actually thought, maybe ignorance was bliss. Which goes against my very being, as women we should know our bodies, we should know about our bodies, we should take care of our bodies.

It all turned out ok, it was a lymph node that they saw. Alas, I'm done for another year. But ladies, are you?? Are you getting your paps, and your mammos?? Are you doing your monthly self breast exams??

In defence of the amniotic sac | Midwife Thinking's Blog

In defence of the amniotic sac | Midwife Thinking's Blog

What a great day I had today. I really love my husbands family. He has an uncle that lives in Florida that doesn't come up very often. He is up for his 50th high school reunion and aunt had a picnic so we could all see him. We were there for hours! The kids played, the weather was beautiful, the food was good. So nice. Didn't want to come home... He really does have a great family. Lot's of them too, he has 9 aunts and uncles:) I didn't grow up with very much family, so marrying him was an adjustment. But the get togethers are wonderful. One of his cousins has a couple of kids and the only time we see each other is at family stuff, which makes it fun every time:) And he has a couple of uncles that get's down and plays with the kids sometimes. It's all out a great time:)

support

• to bear the weight of, especially from below
• 
  
• to hold in position so as to keep from falling, sinking, or slipping
• 
  
• to be capable of bearing, withstand
• 
  
• to keep from weakening or failing, strengthen
• 
  
• to provide for or maintain, by supplying with money or necessities
• 
  
• to furnish corroborating evidence for
• 
  
• to aide the cause, policy, or interests of

• to argue in favor of, advocate

well doulas, are you supporting?? women in general, are you supporting each other??

Ugh. So the much needed break we were all anticipating in between Scotts classes isn't happening. I keep trying to go with the flow, but I'm quickly loosing my mind. And to add to the mix, football has started, so we now have practice 2 or sometimes 3 times a week. And of course, one of those times had to be the one night a week that I work, which also had to be one of the nights this session that Scott had class. I'm so happy about this. Thankfully his parents are going to help out on that night.

I need more coffee.

mama, doula, girl:)

So today I write a little bit of all. Mama, doula and girl stuff.

We'll start with the mama part. I have been wanting to go see Inception SO BAD!! Part of it was just me wanting to get o/o the house...Scott has homework, I have a few $, we have a cheap theater with decent movies this time around. What more could a girl ask for?? Except that lately none of my friends could go. I typically go to the late show so I can put the kids to bed, Scott can work on homework. I bother no one by going. I've tried for 2 weeks to get a girlfriend to go. Nada. I am SO bummed. Finally, last night I manage a babysitter and Scott and I go. Which is great, not that I never wanted to go with him, but like I said, he has homework. Plus if he goes, it costs us 2x as much. So we go, it was a great flick, he enjoyed it also. But we had this conversation that didn't go so well. He complains about all the time that the family asked of him this week, and the weekend. We did do a lot this weekend, Idk what he was talking about during the week. I tell him, why did you come then? You should have stayed home and did homework. "I came to be with you!" Ok, I'm thinking, I don't say, but if you're stressed out and not happy about it, I don't want you here.

So, I resign myself to single mom-mode. I won't ask for his help. I won't ask for him. I know this isn't the right attitude. But right now I am having a really hard time balancing the line between supporting him and keeping my own sanity. I felt so rejected when he complained about all the time we had asked of him. But I understand that he needs time to do homework. I also understand that he has SO much on his shoulders, but right now, I don't know how to help him bear it. I feel like what I am bearing is almost too much for me.

It's interesting b/c my cousin is in school full time, working I think full time as well. So when we walk together she get's to hear it from the other end, and so do I. It's hard on all of us. The 1st few sessions were ok, this one has been really rough for whatever reason. The other ones seemed to go by rather quickly and then we were in a much needed break, this one, not so much.

On the doula side of things, I have an appt this week with a possible client:) I am a back up for a friend of mine, both paying (yippee!!) I don't know if I have told you about how much volunteer work I've done lately... it's nice to get paid!

And while we're on the birthy side of things... congrats to my awesome friend Jenn who gave birth in her dinning room, in water. Her 2cd hbac:) She is the most amazing of mothers and birthers! The coolest thing happened, I dreamt the night that she gave birth that I had a baby in her living room. About the same time that she was having a baby in her dinning room.

And on the girl front, I did another 5k:) I'm really proud of myself. This one I actually ran. I took approx 7 minutes off my time from the 1st one. I run in intervals. It's really good for you:) Right now my intervals are 90 sec of running and 2.5 minutes of walking. This run meant a lot to me b/c I did it by myself and b/c it was the 1st one that I ran. I will do the Thanksgiving 5k this year again too, here's hoping I weigh less by then and that I am faster! I have been stuck at this weight for over 2 months. I am really frustrated by it and have heard every ones advice, none of which works. But I won't go there..

stupid cancer

stupid cancer.
been home from relay for life for a little while now.
stuff mulling around in my head.
my friend that lost her son this year spoke.

i've often wondered how they go on.
how anyone in their shoes gets up in the morning and lives another day.
i know they do it b/c they have to.
they are alive in this world.
but as the days went on after the funeral i thought of them often.
and wondered.
how does your world keep spinning after this loss.

19 weeks and 5 days.
that's what she said.
it struck me,
it's only been 19 weeks?
it seems like longer.
i wondered if she knew how many hours also.
i bet she did.

tomorrow, while i will get up a little bleary eyed,
a little sore and tired.
i will gripe to myself that it's early.
i want coffee.
why can't church start at 3 in the afternoon.
she will get up, maybe bleary eyed,
and think to herself,
19 weeks, 6 days.

so i tell myself.
tomorrow, get up. hug my kids extra tight.
there are no guarantees in this world.
be thankful.

weight loss 101;)

well, i did it:) 101lbs. can't believe it.
today i jogged for the 1st time in my life. at one point i had a very sureal moment. i was thinking i can't believe i'm jogging. i can't believe i've lost 101 lbs. i can't believe how healthy i am, how much i've accomplished. i laughed at myself lol!

thanks to everyone who keeps routing me on!! you mean the world to me!!

Weigh-day didn't go as well as I would like it to. I lost another 2lbs. That put's me at 98, still not at my 100. I know, I know, that I know. But I want that 100 SO BAD!!! Maybe that's why it's taking me so long to get there. I will be honest and tell you I was pretty depressed yesterday. Didn't matter what anyone said to me, I didn't get what I wanted, lol. Still makes no sense, why is it one time a 7 lb loss and another time only 2, when I do and eat almost the exact same things?? The only thing I can say for yesterday, is that it is that precious time of the month. But it wasn't 2 weeks ago when I had a 2 lb loss.

I will keep trudging on. I have to, I have so far to go still! Even if I only loose it 2 lbs at a time, I'm still getting healthier and healthier. I walked 4 miles the other day, I've never done that before. I have this unofficial goal in my head. You know one of those things that someone says that just get's in you somehow and settles?? I was walking Wednesday and happened to see an acquaintance who told me the distance of this area I have been walking, only farther, it's 6 miles. I want that. I know I can do that. But, 3 miles still hurts sometimes. So, something I need to work up to.

Something cool that happened, I had to buy all new summer clothes this year, b/c everything from last year was too big:) In that process, one of my new shirts was ruined in the wash. (we won't go into how....) so I went to replace it and ended up buying a whole size smaller than even the one I just bought a month ago:)

Ok, it's good to set goals right?? So, next week, if I have hit my weight goal, I'm going to start lifting weights 2 days a week again. When I started walking, for whatever reason, I quit the weights. I think b/c I just quit going down there to work out. But, weights should be part of the program, so I am going to get them in there again.

How much water do you drink? Or caffeine free liquid? I have been meeting my water intake. Even tho some days I feel like I'm fairly floating. I'm at 82 oz a day now. I was getting these dizzy spells, like every time I stood up, the whole room would spin, if I bent over, that type of thing. I mentioned them to a friend who is also a nurse and who knows what my lifestyle is like. She said, "oh, you're dehydrated." I said, "huh uh!" "How can a person who drinks 62 oz a day be dehydrated!?" She said it's not enough if I think about the amount of exercise I do, the fact I had that stomach bug, and I do still drink a couple of caffeinated beverages a day. She told me I need to add at least 2 more glasses. So, I begrudgingly took on her challenge. (grumble grumble...) The easiest way for me to get it down is to drink 2 32 oz bottles, then a 20 ouncer. Also 1 of the 32 oz is that tea mixture that I make. Anyhoo, the dizziness has gotten better.

Still not doing a great job getting in as much protein as I'm supposed to. I am doing better, but not great. Ah well, a little at a time right!?

well, i didn't make the 6lb loss for my 100. only 2. don't you wish there was some magic formula? what makes one 14 day period a 7 lb loss and another a 2lb loss?? i sure don't know. especially when i do so many of the same things. our bodies are such mysterious things. 4 more!!

almost there...

Well, I'm almost there. 6lbs away from loosing 100 lbs. I can hardly believe it. It will have taken me a year. Which is completely healthy. The loss really slowed down in the winter and has picked back up since I've been able to get outside and walk. I've also added some distance, protein and calories.

My body has changed so much. Sometimes I'll see things that surprise me. Like I'll just all of sudden notice that my hands look different. My fingers look longer. My wedding bands wiggle all over the place. Which is funny b/c I'm still not down to the weight I was when we got married.

Another thing that has caught me off guard is that I'm loosing hair. I guess it's normal. I'm trying to add more protein to my diet as that might help. But I've been told that it sometimes happens w/ weightloss. If anyone else has had this happen, I'd like to hear from you. When does it stop!? I could very well be bald by next year!

My kids and some friends have said they're planning a "100 party" for me whenever I get there. I'll letcha know when it is so you can come too;) (seriously, susan, you could come!)

in the doula chronicles...

had the most amazing birth on easter sunday!! which also happened to be my daughters bday:) i didn't get to see her till 4pm. i know that being a doula, it was inevitable that i'd miss something. we had celebrated her bday on friday. but i still felt a little bit bad about it. and i never got that chance to do what i usually do for at least a few minutes and sit and reflect on her birth at all. i did think about it a little in a few minutes of down time during the birth b/c we were at the same hospital, same day and all. but it wasn't the same. have a nice healthy mom and baby who are breastfeeding well tho!!

aHA!!

Woman Charged for Squirting Breast Milk at Deputy

Monday, March 08, 2010

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A Kentucky woman was charged with assault after she allegedly squirted breast milk into the face of a deputy, sparking online debate Sunday in the local media.

Toni Tramel, 31, was arrested Thursday for public intoxication in Owensboro, WYMT-TV reported, but it is what she did next which has attracted headlines.

As Tramel changed into an inmate uniform, she squirted a stream of breast milk into the face of the female deputy watching over her.

A press release from the Daviess County, Kentucky, Detention Center, said that after the deputy decontaminated herself from the "bio-hazard", Tramel was charged with third degree assault.

While the public drunkenness was merely a misdemeanor offense, the assault is a felony charge and a US$10,000 bond was set.

Reports of the case have sparked debates about whether using breast milk as a weapon should constitute a felony assault case, with many readers likening it to an accused person spitting on an officer.

Also sparking feedback has been the use of the term "bio-hazard" to describe breast milk.

ok, i know, this is completely inappropriate, and why she was drunk when she was lactating is a whole other issue, but i've had a really bad day, and it made me laugh, so i'm posting it! judge me if you will;)

well, she moved, it appears the stomach flu is also good for weight loss...

Ok, sorry. Been neglectful again. All is well. As well as can be. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers. That was very difficult to go through. Still is.

If you'll notice, my girl has moved, a little. A normal, healthy 3 lbs. Getting closer to my goal:) Which, if I may remind you, b/c I have to constantly remind myself lately, will take me to my 100 lb loss:D I have to remind myself a lot lately b/c it seems to be happening so slowly now. But it's happening (keep telling myself that too!) so we're good. 100 lbs in a year isn't anything to complain about.

And, in the doula chronicles, I have 2 clients on deck:) 1 due in April and 1 in June. Very exciting. I met another doula at panera last night. That is so much fun. I'm getting better at it. I don't always like meeting new people, but lately, I'm feeling more confident, less nervous. She was great, we have a lot in common. She also homeschools.

Guess those are all my updates. If you're interested, watch for my girl to move, or not, on Friday:)

Tomorrow and Friday I go to the memorial and funeral of an 8 year old. Dear Jesus help. I met this family thru the nonprofit that I volunteer for. The last few days I have thought to myself, I didn't sign up for this pain. I signed up to be around pregnant mamas and babies, to help young, underprivileged mothers learn how to birth and take care of their children, to doula for those who can't afford it otherwise. Not to get attached to families and then loose them. This hurts too much.

But I'm thankful for the time I've had with them. And the future I hope to still have with them. I hope to somehow ease their pain, even if in the slightest way. Altho I don't know how anyone can ease the pain of the loss of a child. God it hurts. I can't even begin to imagine the pain that they're going through.

it's almost over cancer.
i hope you're happy.
but you don't really get him.
you may get his sick little body that you've been eating away at for 3 years, but Jesus get's his spirit.
and then, he'll be well, and whole, and have no more pain. no more fighting.
we will miss him. his family will mourn.
and then, we will fight some more, but he won't have to.

cancer, will your appetite never be satisfied?
will you continue to devour and destroy the lives of the innocent and loved??
my heart aches, my body aches for the pain that others are going thru b/c of you.

will always hate you
will always fight you
will always support those who rage against you with their research and their tests and their blood draws, and their chemo, and their radiation, and their swollen bodies, and their bald heads.
will always pray.

So, I work my bum off, or try to that is, for 2 weeks, loose 1 lb. Get ticked off and a little lazy, only exercise maybe 4 times at the most, eat more and 9 days later I've lost 2 lbs. What!? idontgetit.

Here's what I've come up w/. I think I had slowed my metabolism down b/c I was skipping that midmorning snack being too busy. I wasn't giving myself enough calories for the amount of exercising I had been doing. So, I need to add some calories, no idea how many, I'm going for about 100. And back to eating about every 2 hours.

anyhoo, that's all i got

how you guys feeling about haiti??

ughh.

Well we have another loss. A small one at that. And I have to admit that I'm frustrated and discouraged. I know all the facts, I could plateau, altho from what I know about that, I don't' see how that could happen, I add to my cardio, I've added weights to my regimen and I don't do the same thing every day. But I've had at least 100 people tell me that since April, so I know it could, (said dripping w/ sarcasm).

I also know that since I've added weights, muscle weighs more than lbs. what I don't' get is that I'm still doing like 25-30 minutes of cardio a day, how am I not still loosing?? I guess I'm just impatient. I only started the weights about a week ago. Which doesn't make me feel any better b/c that still says to me that I only lost 1 lb in 2 weeks. 2 lbs in one month. I'm ticked. I worked really hard the last 2 weeks. I guess there are a few possibilities, that I have gained muscle, that b/c I am working o/ more, I need more calories, which is scary, that I just need to be patient and let my body catch up w/ me. I feel like that girl on biggest looser last night who said she was the last one in the gym at night and the 1st one in the morning and she only lost 4 lbs.

So be patient w/ me please and let me vent. And don't worry, I have come too far and have too far to go to give up.

How's you 2010 treating you so far?? Ours isn't so bad. We have LOT'S of snow!! I mean, lot's. We didn't have half this much last year.

I don't know if you're paying attention to my girl on the side and the fact that she didn't move last week. She would have, a tiny bit, like 1lb... but when I went in to change it, apparently I had put in 1 too many lbs last time.. so, ya, I only had a 1lb loss over Christmas, surprise surprise!! But as I tell myself, a loss, is a loss, and it is not a gain!

Have some pics to show you of my weight gym:)

The last one is my elliptical, obviously. It's old and the electrical unit doesn't work, but that just makes it all the better for me b/c it's harder to use. (please ignore the totes and otherwise mess in the background, it is a basement after all!) But isn't it awesome!? And the best part? It was all FREE!!! The friend was downsizing and just wanted to get it o/o her house. I was surprised at how much of a weakling I am w/ those weights tho... I expected more o/o myself. And there are no numbers on them, so I'm not even sure how much I'm lifting.... The kids like it, but I only allow them on it when I'm down there. This has created an issue for me b/c I really like to be left alone when I'm on the elliptical. It is a real work o/ for me. I don't talk, I breath hard, I sweat, it's hard. But they want to be down there and I need to make sure they're using it properly and safely, so it's been rather irritating. I'm needing to figure something else out..

So fun!!

Ran across this article and had to post it....


The dance move known round the world by every pre-pubescent girl in 1989

Full disclosure: we weren't always the immensely sophisticated and self-possessed adults who blog before you today. Once, some decades ago, we too had mouths full of metal; wore white Keds and hot pink socks; adorned our stone-washed denim jackets with badges that shouted "I ♥ NKOTB" and "The Future Mrs Jordan Knight". We got older; we got marginally less awkward. We traded up for Londonist badges, and our denim is always indigo blue.

So it was that when news of the New Kids on the Block's reunion tour reached us, some of us scoffed; one of us called it the 'sixth sign of the apocalypse'; and three of us (one of whom, a great big hypocrite and apocalypse prognosticator), through considerable peer pressure and perhaps one too many pints, covered our eyes and clicked "Buy Tickets Now". Strictly so we could bring you this Step By Step guide to getting through the night. But first you should ask yourself: are you tough enough?

Step 1: we can have lots of fun. Can we? We remain noncommittal until about 3 hours before the gig. Then we head over to YouTube for a quick review of the Kids' greatest hits. And start uncontrollably giggling like the 10-year-old girls we once were.

Step 2: there's so much we can do. And by "do" we mean "drink". Lager, bitter, whiskey, tequila, wine - you think we're going to willingly wander down pre-pubescent memory lane whilst sober?

Step 3: it's just you and me. Worryingly, a pre-concert ticket comparison among Londonistas reveals us to be the keepers of ticket numbers 33, 34 and 96 - and we think, oh dear god, we might very well indeed get personally serenaded by Joey McIntyre. The queue at the Hammersmith Apollo relieves us of our misapprehension. It's just you, me and 5,000 other women (and a smattering of blokes).

Step 4: I can give you more. More hits! More cheese! More brilliantly choreographed dance numbers! Our cheese factor? High. Jordan crooning "I'll Be Loving You Forever" as the wind machine nearly blows away his shirt almost crosses the line. Almost. But although we can't quite conjure up the same free-flowing emotion as the woman openly weeping during the Block's cover of the Jackson Five's "I'll Be There" - and nor do we fling bras that read "Donnie's Girls" across the cups onto the stage - our flailing arms have acquired a mind of their own by the time the "Hangin' Tough" finale comes around. All together now: oh-oh-oh-oh-oh.

Step 5: don't you know that the time has arrived! For putting our reservations to rest. The question, we realise by the end of the evening, isn't why we ever loved the New Kids; it's why we ever stopped.

Words and pics by a closeted fan Julie Palmer-Hoffman, with thanks to Londonistas Alice and Lindsey

here is the link for the entire article if you'd like to see all their pics, they have the best captions under them...