Hi there!

Lot's going on here. School is done for the year!! I've been doing a lot of sleeping in:) We also took our 1st trip to the beach already! There's this great little beach about 15 minutes away. It's at a little campground, so it has facilities, even a little ice cream parlor. And they cator to homeschoolers(!) they have one day a week that it's only $1 to get in if u homeschool. How could we NOT go!? We plan on going about every week this summer. We went last summer lot's too.

Big changes here. If you know me at all you know I'm a committed Christian and church goer. (yes you can be one with out the other, but that's a whole other post...) I've been a part of our former church since I was in the 7th grade. We left for Bible college in 1997, went to a church in MO for almost 3 yrs, came back and pretty much settled right back in where we left off. Until last winter. Things started to change. My husband went thru a deep depression. He has been working and going to school full time. Not an easy time for any of us. But a time we needed to go thru. During this time we started praying and seeking God's will for our lives. A couple of months into it we decided to check out a few different churches. That was interesting.

We def found a great church, and the one the Lord lead us to. We all love it. Hubby get's so much out it every week. Something that wasn't happening anymore where we were. The kids have made new friends, so have I. I have felt like I was home from the 1st few minutes of walking thru the doors.

We've done 2 bday parties already this yr! Last yr I did none. I was in the simplify, simplify, simplify mode. I was not doing parties. We told the kids to pick a restaurant and we invited family and had a family dinner. They brought gifts and the kids loved it. Was it more expensive? I honestly don't know thinking about how much I've put into these parties. Here's the clincher, NO MAINTENANCE!!! The restaurants do all that:) And we got to hang out with family. It was great. I can honestly say I would love to do it again next yr. Sis had a craft party. Zai had a Star Wars party, and Zac wants to have a nerf gun party. I'm telling the boys to bring their guns and we're buying lot's of bullets. We have a black top parking lot across the street that it'll be perfect to shoot on. They won't loose the bullets:)

Another change is last yr when we were going thru so much, and were getting used to the new school schedule I backed off the birth seen. Was debating on renewing my website when it came up, but then prayed about it and received an email from someone who sounds like a very fun mama that I'm going to meet with next week as a potential client:) Happy times!!

support

• to bear the weight of, especially from below
• 
  
• to hold in position so as to keep from falling, sinking, or slipping
• 
  
• to be capable of bearing, withstand
• 
  
• to keep from weakening or failing, strengthen
• 
  
• to provide for or maintain, by supplying with money or necessities
• 
  
• to furnish corroborating evidence for
• 
  
• to aide the cause, policy, or interests of

• to argue in favor of, advocate

well doulas, are you supporting?? women in general, are you supporting each other??

mama, doula, girl:)

So today I write a little bit of all. Mama, doula and girl stuff.

We'll start with the mama part. I have been wanting to go see Inception SO BAD!! Part of it was just me wanting to get o/o the house...Scott has homework, I have a few $, we have a cheap theater with decent movies this time around. What more could a girl ask for?? Except that lately none of my friends could go. I typically go to the late show so I can put the kids to bed, Scott can work on homework. I bother no one by going. I've tried for 2 weeks to get a girlfriend to go. Nada. I am SO bummed. Finally, last night I manage a babysitter and Scott and I go. Which is great, not that I never wanted to go with him, but like I said, he has homework. Plus if he goes, it costs us 2x as much. So we go, it was a great flick, he enjoyed it also. But we had this conversation that didn't go so well. He complains about all the time that the family asked of him this week, and the weekend. We did do a lot this weekend, Idk what he was talking about during the week. I tell him, why did you come then? You should have stayed home and did homework. "I came to be with you!" Ok, I'm thinking, I don't say, but if you're stressed out and not happy about it, I don't want you here.

So, I resign myself to single mom-mode. I won't ask for his help. I won't ask for him. I know this isn't the right attitude. But right now I am having a really hard time balancing the line between supporting him and keeping my own sanity. I felt so rejected when he complained about all the time we had asked of him. But I understand that he needs time to do homework. I also understand that he has SO much on his shoulders, but right now, I don't know how to help him bear it. I feel like what I am bearing is almost too much for me.

It's interesting b/c my cousin is in school full time, working I think full time as well. So when we walk together she get's to hear it from the other end, and so do I. It's hard on all of us. The 1st few sessions were ok, this one has been really rough for whatever reason. The other ones seemed to go by rather quickly and then we were in a much needed break, this one, not so much.

On the doula side of things, I have an appt this week with a possible client:) I am a back up for a friend of mine, both paying (yippee!!) I don't know if I have told you about how much volunteer work I've done lately... it's nice to get paid!

And while we're on the birthy side of things... congrats to my awesome friend Jenn who gave birth in her dinning room, in water. Her 2cd hbac:) She is the most amazing of mothers and birthers! The coolest thing happened, I dreamt the night that she gave birth that I had a baby in her living room. About the same time that she was having a baby in her dinning room.

And on the girl front, I did another 5k:) I'm really proud of myself. This one I actually ran. I took approx 7 minutes off my time from the 1st one. I run in intervals. It's really good for you:) Right now my intervals are 90 sec of running and 2.5 minutes of walking. This run meant a lot to me b/c I did it by myself and b/c it was the 1st one that I ran. I will do the Thanksgiving 5k this year again too, here's hoping I weigh less by then and that I am faster! I have been stuck at this weight for over 2 months. I am really frustrated by it and have heard every ones advice, none of which works. But I won't go there..

almost there...

Well, I'm almost there. 6lbs away from loosing 100 lbs. I can hardly believe it. It will have taken me a year. Which is completely healthy. The loss really slowed down in the winter and has picked back up since I've been able to get outside and walk. I've also added some distance, protein and calories.

My body has changed so much. Sometimes I'll see things that surprise me. Like I'll just all of sudden notice that my hands look different. My fingers look longer. My wedding bands wiggle all over the place. Which is funny b/c I'm still not down to the weight I was when we got married.

Another thing that has caught me off guard is that I'm loosing hair. I guess it's normal. I'm trying to add more protein to my diet as that might help. But I've been told that it sometimes happens w/ weightloss. If anyone else has had this happen, I'd like to hear from you. When does it stop!? I could very well be bald by next year!

My kids and some friends have said they're planning a "100 party" for me whenever I get there. I'll letcha know when it is so you can come too;) (seriously, susan, you could come!)

in the doula chronicles...

had the most amazing birth on easter sunday!! which also happened to be my daughters bday:) i didn't get to see her till 4pm. i know that being a doula, it was inevitable that i'd miss something. we had celebrated her bday on friday. but i still felt a little bit bad about it. and i never got that chance to do what i usually do for at least a few minutes and sit and reflect on her birth at all. i did think about it a little in a few minutes of down time during the birth b/c we were at the same hospital, same day and all. but it wasn't the same. have a nice healthy mom and baby who are breastfeeding well tho!!

I bought a new pair of jeans to day. For the 1st time in like, 2 years. It was so exciting. From what I can tell, they're 3 sizes smaller than my old jeans. Could be 4, but we'll go w/ 3. You know how weird sizing can be. And, they're a brand that caters to big girls, so they're made especially for my pair shaped self, who has most of my junk, in the trunk;0) ah, finally, a company that sees that most of america is plus sized... *sighs w/ contentment*

and in the doula chronicles, i ask for your help.
I need to write a tiny little statement about myself for a pamphlet that will set me apart from every other doula in the area. WHAT SHOULD I WRITE!? I was thinking about advertising the fact that I teach a Christian childbirth class. I dunno. But, it has to be short, tiny. Teensy weensy.

little of this, little of that..

Something that took me by surprise in all this was how many people have said that I have inspired them to do something. B4 I made a decision to get healthy I was never inspired by people when I saw them loosing weight. I would tell them great job or whatever. But I never felt inspired. I felt guilty and crappy. I knew I should be doing something about myself and I wasn't. I've met a couple people like that, I can see it their eyes. I know b/c I've been there. But like I said, it's something that has to happen in a persons own heart.

And for today, a little snippet of something else I love....Monday night I was called in to labor w/ a most awesome mama :0) who birthed a most adorable 7lb 15oz little man Tuesday morning...more of her story coming soon:)

All is well. Our house is great:) The kids just love it. Sis loves having her own room and is driving me crazy w/ the way she keeps rearranging it. Someone said to me, "that's b/c she can. she's never had her own space b4!" So, I try to let her be. But every time I get it looking really cute, she moves it around...ah well, as long as it's fairly clean, I try not to complain. Since we have the space, and a place for him to go now, we've started letting our oldest, who is 10 stay up a little latter than the rest of the kids. He is thrilled, Sis, is less than understanding.

Fall is here. I bought some mums for the 1st time and they're just gorgeous. I never really like mums b4, but for some reason this year, they looked so pretty:0)

I have a doula client due at the beginning of November so I'm officially on call. I kept not hearing my phone tho, so I started sticking it on vibrate in my bra(!) I know, I know, joke all you want....but now I know when it rings.

Tonight dh and I are off to a banquet for the PCC. Looking forward to it, get to see lot's of friends, and be alone together woohoo!!

doulas, doulas every where!!

It seems lately every where I go I'm meeting doulas! I met one at the dentist office the other day, in the last 2 weeks I've been to 2 doula meetings, and missed 2. I met a new midwife last month who told me she had started a volunteer doula program at a local hospital. (said local hospital shut it down.) One recent meeting I was at referred to another doula group in a nearby city. All of a sudden they are popping up all over the place!

That said, I have come to see just as there are many different kinds of women and different kinds of birth, there are different kinds of doulas. There are the doulas who are take charge and in your face, and some women need that. And there are doulas who are calm, quiet and reassuring. There are some that are a bit of both. (If you're on FB you could take a quiz to find out what kind of doula you are!)

That said, there are also doulas that feel they have to push their beliefs on women. It's such a turn off. As a doula, I believe I should offer choices, not beliefs. I believe I should make sure moms know what their options are, not push my agenda on them. Whatever she chooses, becomes the choice that I support in her birth.

Am I pro natural childbirth?
Yes.
Do I think natural childbirth is for every woman?
No.
As a doula can I support a woman in labor who chooses an epidural, just as well as one who goes w/o?
Yes.
Do women who get epidurals need the support of a doula in labor?
Yes. You typically don't get the epidural as soon as you walk in the door. And doula support is more than just physical.

Well, I hadn't intended on that little question and answer, but it was fun, we should do it again! Give me some questions, I'll give you some answers:)

a doula day..

Next month I have a great opportunity. There is going to be this small fair in Niles. I am going to be kind of co-sponsoring a booth at it. I will be there w/ the nonprofit that I volunteer for, but I also get to advertise myself as a doula. I'm excited:)

I go back and forth. I don't do many births. There are times when I talk to other doulas and think, man, I wish I could get that many! But then, realistically, it wouldn't work for my family. I am not prepared to pay a baby sitter right now. And my kids are not prepared to spend the day w/ one. In a conversation w/ my daughter recently I asked her when she was going to stop sucking her thumb, she remarked that she had tried to stop, but then we had all those days at the baby sitters...we recently had some days at the sitters b/c dh's mom had to spend some time in the hospital.

I am a stay at home mom for a reason, b/c I feel I was called here. I also feel I was called to be a doula. And, if I go way back to the beginning, I can remember sitting in a church service and the Lord telling me that He would bring me the clients He wanted me to have. So, maybe I won't be a money making doula, which, let's face it, who is in it for the money?? And maybe I won't be a high number clientele doula, which, I couldn't handle anyway.. but, I'll keep doing what I'm doing. And I'll have the clients that I'm supposed to have, and the timing will be right for all of them.

But if I come across an opportunity to advertise, I'll do it! B/c who says God can't bring me someone that way?!