It appears I'm blogging on a once a month basis, haha:) Ah well, I started this blog for my own sanity, not yours;)

I'm going to Grand Rapids today with a bunch of women from the nonprofit that I volunteer at. We are going to visit this awesome crisis pregnancy center that was once used as an abortion clinic, have dinner and then see a movie. This movie. I don't normally watch things like this. I was adopted. I know very little of my birth parents. I didn't have the best upbringing. I blame no one. It was what it was. But I have never been able to watch those Oprah shows where people find their birth parents. I have no plans to search for mine. I've always felt that if it was the right time, the Lord would show me. I'm not sure why I'm even going today. I really want to see this center, and I really enjoy these social events:)

Maybe I'll even post pictures, now that I know I can easily pop the little card in and out, lol!

So I thought I'd post a favorite recipe of mine now and then. This is one I discovered this past summer, who doesn't love a good oatmeal cookie? I'm a bit on the prejudice side when it comes to oatmeal cookies, I don't believe there should be chocolate chips in my oatmeal cookies. I'm deaply offended by that. I'm a raisins only type of girl!

One of my aunts gave me this cook book for Christmas one year:

The All American Cookie Book

I honestly hadn't used it much up till this past summer. I had found a good choc chip recipe in it and was interested b/c it gives history of the recipes in it which is kind of fun. But anyhoo, I wanted a good oatmeal raisin! And I found it! The best ever imho... and trust me, we made lot's of them! Took them to the beach all summer.

Dairy Hollow House Oatmeal Raisin Cookies 2/3 cup (1 stick + 2 2/3 TBL) unsalted butter soft

1 cup (5 oz) raisins 1/2 cup white shortening

3 cups old fashioned oats 1 cup packed brown sugar

2 cups flour 1 cup sugar

1 tsp cinn 2 large eggs

1/2 tsp baking powder 1 tsp vanilla

1/2 tsp baking soda 1 cup chopped walnuts or pecans (optional)

1/2 tsp salt

preheat oven to 375 grease several cookie sheets

in a small bowl combine raisins and enough hot water to cover them, set aside

In a large bowl, stir together oats, flour, cinn, baking powder, soda and salt, set aside.

In another large bowl, with a mixer, beat butter and shortening till creamy, add sugars, mix, then eggs and vanilla till light and smooth. Stir or beat in all but 1 cup of oat mixture until even. Thoroughly drain the raisins. In a medium bowl, stir together the remaining oats and raisins, add to dough until evenly mixed.

Shape into balls about the size of golf balls. Place on greased sheets pat down slightly. Bake 8-10 minutes.

(I don't add nuts, and if I don't have shortening, I use butter)

If you try these, please let me know what you think:) They are brown sugary, buttery, chewy, and all around delish!!

btw, i added the nutrition tag, b/c i really do try to make as many of our snacks as possible instead of buying them.

Changing the name of my blog yet again. I guess I just feel like a blog should fit the blogger, and it wasn't fitting anymore.

An update on the hair:

Day 4: washed and rinsed. As I was getting ready for work I noticed up toward my crown it looked oily. This could be the start of the oily period that they talked about, or it could be that I didn't do a good job washing, yes I scrubbed but maybe I didn't dispense it well. We'll see. But, since I'd about die before I'd go out of the house w/ oily/dirty looking hair, I quickly baby powdered the crown.

Today, even tho it was oil-ish last night, I will probably still not wash it today. I'm thinking it's a pony tail or braid day!

And on to other such life. I've gotten into this wanting to escape groove the last few days. It started when I went to the store with all the kids the other day and they were wretched! At this age, they usually aren't. It caught me off guard and to be quite honest, pissed me off. I have been in the house a lot lately, with every one being sick on and off. I was so thankful to go to work last night, just to get out with out the kids and be around adults! I've been begging people to DO something with me, something fun, but no one can lately. Mostly because it's like the middle of the week and they all have to work in the morning. I have to teach, but I guess it's a little easier for me to get up and deal than it is for them.

My point is that this escapism is a shaky path for me. I tend to be all or nothing with everything in my life, and when I feel this way I usually end up not being present in my head even when I'm here in body. Hoping I get out of the house soon and relieve a little stress before I go off the deep end!

I am crabby today. Just to be quite honest. I've been fighting a cold, I started my period, woke up w/ a headache, and am just plain crabby. Thankfully my kids are being ok. One of those days when I don't have a lot to do, so I can curl up on the couch, but I just can't comfortable! and being nice to the people around me is a real effort.

that is all.

wascally wabbit!

We are thinking about getting a rabbit as a pet. In all our years of parenting, we've not had a lot of luck w/ pets. We had a cat, then found out that Zac was allergic to them, we sent him to live w/ his sister at my friends. We had a dog, but she was too much for us. Our kids were toddlers, literally, toddling, and she would knock them over all the time. I have trained dogs before and could NOT get this sweet dog to train. I also then found out I was expecting Sis. I took her back to the pound. I'm pretty sure she got adopted quickly b/c she already had all her shots, and I saw her on out local morning show. It broke my heart to take her back, but I had to keep my sanity. I knew I could not handle 2 toddlers, a hyper dog and a new baby. Then my little girl had a pet mouse, whom she named "Little Bert." He died about 3 months after she got him. BROKE HER HEART.

In order for us to have an animal that we don't have to pay a $250 deposit on, it has to be a caged animal. We would keep the rabbit outside. We have a pretty awesome hutch for it. We were thinking about getting 2, not wanting it to be alone, but then we have 3 kids. So, not sure yet. Anyone have any experience w/ rabbits??

Remember when I used to update my blog w/o someone telling me, you need to update your blog?

We had a fantastic summer. I'm so glad that my kids are still at an age that they can be happy w/o huge summer vacation trips. We went to the beach every chance we had, and had SO much fun w/ it. This year we had lot's of friends join us. Last year it was pretty much the kids swam and I sat under a tree and relaxed. This year I swam some too, and we had friends there w/ us a lot.

This September 28th Scott and I celebrated our 15th anniversary. I know I've said it before, but I'll say it again, it's been the best 15 years of my life. Even thru the not so fun times. We spent 4 days away, 1 in Chaboygan, MI. And 3 nights on Mackinac Island. I am in love with the place. Scott was so excited to show it to me. He had been up there plenty of times, but I had never been that far north. Michigan is truly a beautiful state. I've a

lways been apprecaitive of our local aggriculture, but seeing the whole sta

te made me appreciate it even more.

We are still loving our church and getting to know our new church family. One thing I do love? Lot's of Notre Dame fans:)

Speaking of Notre Dame... how bout them IRISH!? I knew this was gonna be a good year for them. I got to be part of history at the 1st game of the season when they kicked us out of the stadium 2x. 1st time in Irish history and marked down in the books as longest college game in history at 5 hrs, 59 minutes. Right now Rees and Floyd are on fire. I was so glad when Floyd chose to come back this year.

School this year is going well so far. I feel more organized than I've been in a long time. All the kids are involved in a co-op this year. On Wednesdays we meet at a local church that used to be a school, hence the classrooms. We have quite a few classes. Different parents teach them. Mine are all in the science class, and then Lily is in a cute little choir. During choir and in the hour before science, the boys do their other school work in study hall. It's a nice break during the week for us. And I love that there is such a huge age group in the science class.

I'm still volunteering at the PCC. It's def in my heart. I stopped counseling for a little while to work on a doula program. But have set that aside and started counseling again. I really do love it.

Can't think of anything else to talk about right now. take care! and see most of you on facebook:)

Hi there!

Lot's going on here. School is done for the year!! I've been doing a lot of sleeping in:) We also took our 1st trip to the beach already! There's this great little beach about 15 minutes away. It's at a little campground, so it has facilities, even a little ice cream parlor. And they cator to homeschoolers(!) they have one day a week that it's only $1 to get in if u homeschool. How could we NOT go!? We plan on going about every week this summer. We went last summer lot's too.

Big changes here. If you know me at all you know I'm a committed Christian and church goer. (yes you can be one with out the other, but that's a whole other post...) I've been a part of our former church since I was in the 7th grade. We left for Bible college in 1997, went to a church in MO for almost 3 yrs, came back and pretty much settled right back in where we left off. Until last winter. Things started to change. My husband went thru a deep depression. He has been working and going to school full time. Not an easy time for any of us. But a time we needed to go thru. During this time we started praying and seeking God's will for our lives. A couple of months into it we decided to check out a few different churches. That was interesting.

We def found a great church, and the one the Lord lead us to. We all love it. Hubby get's so much out it every week. Something that wasn't happening anymore where we were. The kids have made new friends, so have I. I have felt like I was home from the 1st few minutes of walking thru the doors.

We've done 2 bday parties already this yr! Last yr I did none. I was in the simplify, simplify, simplify mode. I was not doing parties. We told the kids to pick a restaurant and we invited family and had a family dinner. They brought gifts and the kids loved it. Was it more expensive? I honestly don't know thinking about how much I've put into these parties. Here's the clincher, NO MAINTENANCE!!! The restaurants do all that:) And we got to hang out with family. It was great. I can honestly say I would love to do it again next yr. Sis had a craft party. Zai had a Star Wars party, and Zac wants to have a nerf gun party. I'm telling the boys to bring their guns and we're buying lot's of bullets. We have a black top parking lot across the street that it'll be perfect to shoot on. They won't loose the bullets:)

Another change is last yr when we were going thru so much, and were getting used to the new school schedule I backed off the birth seen. Was debating on renewing my website when it came up, but then prayed about it and received an email from someone who sounds like a very fun mama that I'm going to meet with next week as a potential client:) Happy times!!

I'm updating w/o being asked, are you shocked?? ;)

This morning I ran into someone I haven't seen in ages. She asked me if I'd lost weight, (i said it'd been ages!) I told her ya, over 100lbs (106 to be exact) She asked me if I'd had bariatric, I said nope, just hard work.
"Really!? Wow!" She says, "I'm getting bariatric on Monday."
"Oh really?" I say.
"Ya, I'm caving."
We were in a line of people exiting a building so we couldn't have a real conversation. I responded by telling her I'd pray for her, and that what she was doing wasn't easy.

I have worked REALLY, REALLY hard to get where I am with my weight. I am STILL working hard. I still have weight to loose, and am thankfully starting to loose again. What I am learning thru this incredible (incredibly looong) journey is that it's a very personal thing, not only emotionally, but also physically. What works for one person, doesn't always work for another. I have had 100 people tell me this and that and it doesn't always work. Peoples bodies aren't the same.

Also, it is just that, a journey. It has taken me 2 years to get where I am. I had visions of it only taking me 1 more year to loose the other 100 lbs. That isn't going to happen. The 1st 100 came off rather quickly for whatever reason. I have no clue. This time around my body is completely different and it seems to want different things.

Bariatric was not for me. I have had 4 surgeries, I didn't want anyone cutting me open for any reason that I could prevent. I did read about it. I went to a meeting about the lapband years ago. The thing is, you have to loose a certain amount of weight to even get the surgery, then you have to learn to eat right after it's done. So, I figured, if I can eat right b4 and after having it, then why have it?? PLUS, people die from bariatric. I have a friend whose neighbor bled to death from a complication after having it. I've also seen people have it, loose weight, but not change the way they live, and gain the weight back. I just KNEW that if I was going to loose weight, I had to change my whole life. BUT, that is just me. I never want people to think that I judge them for their decisions. Bariatric isn't a picnic. I will pray for her, and wish her the best.

updates

I've been asked to update my blog. (snicker) I told her that requires effort.I suppose since it's Xmas break I could bust out a little effort.

So what up... Still pressing on w/ living healthy. Took 10 minutes off my last years 5k time. Am pretty proud of that. My goal for next years turkey day race is to run the whole thing w/o intervals.

Homeschooling is ok. I will confess to strong feelings of wanting to send one of my children to school. Never thought I'd want to do that. But I have never been so miserable in teaching either. We're both miserable in it. On the other hand, me and my 6th grader read Where the Red Fern Grows this year and couldn't get enough of it. He bawled his eyes out at the end. Poor kid! I thoroughly enjoyed every minute of that w/ him.

Christmas break has been quite nice. Have had more appts than I'd like to have, but that's life. We've had some nice days of baking, and reading winter stories. Many nights of cuddling. We hooked our netflix up to the wii and have had lot's of fun w/ it. I'm completely hooked on American Pickers! I don't know what I'm gonna do when I catch up w/ their current eps. But I've got a while, I'm not thru w/ season 1 yet. We could sure use more snow tho. And am not getting any soon. We're actually warming up to 50 this week. Good for me tho, I can run outside.

What'd you get for xmas? One of our Uncles got us the balance board for the wii and a snow board game, fun stuff! It also came w/ wii fit plus, so I've gotten a double blessing w/ it:)

Scotts still plugging along in school. We all enjoyed his break. I'll admit that it's been pretty rough at times tho. I don't like feeling like a single parent. I know he doesn't have it any easier. Not saying it's his fault. He's got a lot oh his shoulders. Stress is a hard thing to deal with, it affects us all in so many ways. Makes us unhappy when we don't even realize it. Sometimes I find myself checking out mentally and emotionally b/c I just feel like I can't take it. I'm extremely thankfull for these breaks. And will be praying for God to show me how to deal w/ it a healthier way:)Took a few road trips this summer/fall. Went to Kentucky and Arkansas. Here's some pics:



Ok, only 2. I loaded 4, but for some reason it only gave me 2, and as I said, it takes effort. Effort that I'm not willing to put forth... The 1st one is from this amazing wall in Kentucky. If you know me at all, go to my FB page and look in my 2010 album for the rest of the wall, it's AMAZING. The other pic is of my beautiful albeit hilbilly-ish looking bff Trish about to enjoy one of the must haves, a Lamberts THROWED ROLL! If your anywhere near a Lamberts:) (please, click the link!) They are the best! It's a fun and unique place to go. We had one close to us when we lived in Springfield. And when I realized how close we were on our way to Arkansas I knew we had to stop on our 2cd trip. They loved it, of course;)

I doubt if I'll be on b4 the new year, so here's me wishing you and yours a Happy Safe 2011!!

wordless wednesday...

What a great day I had today. I really love my husbands family. He has an uncle that lives in Florida that doesn't come up very often. He is up for his 50th high school reunion and aunt had a picnic so we could all see him. We were there for hours! The kids played, the weather was beautiful, the food was good. So nice. Didn't want to come home... He really does have a great family. Lot's of them too, he has 9 aunts and uncles:) I didn't grow up with very much family, so marrying him was an adjustment. But the get togethers are wonderful. One of his cousins has a couple of kids and the only time we see each other is at family stuff, which makes it fun every time:) And he has a couple of uncles that get's down and plays with the kids sometimes. It's all out a great time:)

support

• to bear the weight of, especially from below
• 
  
• to hold in position so as to keep from falling, sinking, or slipping
• 
  
• to be capable of bearing, withstand
• 
  
• to keep from weakening or failing, strengthen
• 
  
• to provide for or maintain, by supplying with money or necessities
• 
  
• to furnish corroborating evidence for
• 
  
• to aide the cause, policy, or interests of

• to argue in favor of, advocate

well doulas, are you supporting?? women in general, are you supporting each other??

Ugh. So the much needed break we were all anticipating in between Scotts classes isn't happening. I keep trying to go with the flow, but I'm quickly loosing my mind. And to add to the mix, football has started, so we now have practice 2 or sometimes 3 times a week. And of course, one of those times had to be the one night a week that I work, which also had to be one of the nights this session that Scott had class. I'm so happy about this. Thankfully his parents are going to help out on that night.

I need more coffee.

mama, doula, girl:)

So today I write a little bit of all. Mama, doula and girl stuff.

We'll start with the mama part. I have been wanting to go see Inception SO BAD!! Part of it was just me wanting to get o/o the house...Scott has homework, I have a few $, we have a cheap theater with decent movies this time around. What more could a girl ask for?? Except that lately none of my friends could go. I typically go to the late show so I can put the kids to bed, Scott can work on homework. I bother no one by going. I've tried for 2 weeks to get a girlfriend to go. Nada. I am SO bummed. Finally, last night I manage a babysitter and Scott and I go. Which is great, not that I never wanted to go with him, but like I said, he has homework. Plus if he goes, it costs us 2x as much. So we go, it was a great flick, he enjoyed it also. But we had this conversation that didn't go so well. He complains about all the time that the family asked of him this week, and the weekend. We did do a lot this weekend, Idk what he was talking about during the week. I tell him, why did you come then? You should have stayed home and did homework. "I came to be with you!" Ok, I'm thinking, I don't say, but if you're stressed out and not happy about it, I don't want you here.

So, I resign myself to single mom-mode. I won't ask for his help. I won't ask for him. I know this isn't the right attitude. But right now I am having a really hard time balancing the line between supporting him and keeping my own sanity. I felt so rejected when he complained about all the time we had asked of him. But I understand that he needs time to do homework. I also understand that he has SO much on his shoulders, but right now, I don't know how to help him bear it. I feel like what I am bearing is almost too much for me.

It's interesting b/c my cousin is in school full time, working I think full time as well. So when we walk together she get's to hear it from the other end, and so do I. It's hard on all of us. The 1st few sessions were ok, this one has been really rough for whatever reason. The other ones seemed to go by rather quickly and then we were in a much needed break, this one, not so much.

On the doula side of things, I have an appt this week with a possible client:) I am a back up for a friend of mine, both paying (yippee!!) I don't know if I have told you about how much volunteer work I've done lately... it's nice to get paid!

And while we're on the birthy side of things... congrats to my awesome friend Jenn who gave birth in her dinning room, in water. Her 2cd hbac:) She is the most amazing of mothers and birthers! The coolest thing happened, I dreamt the night that she gave birth that I had a baby in her living room. About the same time that she was having a baby in her dinning room.

And on the girl front, I did another 5k:) I'm really proud of myself. This one I actually ran. I took approx 7 minutes off my time from the 1st one. I run in intervals. It's really good for you:) Right now my intervals are 90 sec of running and 2.5 minutes of walking. This run meant a lot to me b/c I did it by myself and b/c it was the 1st one that I ran. I will do the Thanksgiving 5k this year again too, here's hoping I weigh less by then and that I am faster! I have been stuck at this weight for over 2 months. I am really frustrated by it and have heard every ones advice, none of which works. But I won't go there..

Ok, sorry. Been neglectful again. All is well. As well as can be. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers. That was very difficult to go through. Still is.

If you'll notice, my girl has moved, a little. A normal, healthy 3 lbs. Getting closer to my goal:) Which, if I may remind you, b/c I have to constantly remind myself lately, will take me to my 100 lb loss:D I have to remind myself a lot lately b/c it seems to be happening so slowly now. But it's happening (keep telling myself that too!) so we're good. 100 lbs in a year isn't anything to complain about.

And, in the doula chronicles, I have 2 clients on deck:) 1 due in April and 1 in June. Very exciting. I met another doula at panera last night. That is so much fun. I'm getting better at it. I don't always like meeting new people, but lately, I'm feeling more confident, less nervous. She was great, we have a lot in common. She also homeschools.

Guess those are all my updates. If you're interested, watch for my girl to move, or not, on Friday:)

ughh.

Well we have another loss. A small one at that. And I have to admit that I'm frustrated and discouraged. I know all the facts, I could plateau, altho from what I know about that, I don't' see how that could happen, I add to my cardio, I've added weights to my regimen and I don't do the same thing every day. But I've had at least 100 people tell me that since April, so I know it could, (said dripping w/ sarcasm).

I also know that since I've added weights, muscle weighs more than lbs. what I don't' get is that I'm still doing like 25-30 minutes of cardio a day, how am I not still loosing?? I guess I'm just impatient. I only started the weights about a week ago. Which doesn't make me feel any better b/c that still says to me that I only lost 1 lb in 2 weeks. 2 lbs in one month. I'm ticked. I worked really hard the last 2 weeks. I guess there are a few possibilities, that I have gained muscle, that b/c I am working o/ more, I need more calories, which is scary, that I just need to be patient and let my body catch up w/ me. I feel like that girl on biggest looser last night who said she was the last one in the gym at night and the 1st one in the morning and she only lost 4 lbs.

So be patient w/ me please and let me vent. And don't worry, I have come too far and have too far to go to give up.

How's you 2010 treating you so far?? Ours isn't so bad. We have LOT'S of snow!! I mean, lot's. We didn't have half this much last year.

I don't know if you're paying attention to my girl on the side and the fact that she didn't move last week. She would have, a tiny bit, like 1lb... but when I went in to change it, apparently I had put in 1 too many lbs last time.. so, ya, I only had a 1lb loss over Christmas, surprise surprise!! But as I tell myself, a loss, is a loss, and it is not a gain!

Have some pics to show you of my weight gym:)

The last one is my elliptical, obviously. It's old and the electrical unit doesn't work, but that just makes it all the better for me b/c it's harder to use. (please ignore the totes and otherwise mess in the background, it is a basement after all!) But isn't it awesome!? And the best part? It was all FREE!!! The friend was downsizing and just wanted to get it o/o her house. I was surprised at how much of a weakling I am w/ those weights tho... I expected more o/o myself. And there are no numbers on them, so I'm not even sure how much I'm lifting.... The kids like it, but I only allow them on it when I'm down there. This has created an issue for me b/c I really like to be left alone when I'm on the elliptical. It is a real work o/ for me. I don't talk, I breath hard, I sweat, it's hard. But they want to be down there and I need to make sure they're using it properly and safely, so it's been rather irritating. I'm needing to figure something else out..

Merry Christmas and such!!

So, it's been too long. I think about posting all the time, and never take the time to do it.

1st, a Happy Birthday to my awesome friend Susan tomorrow!! Luv ya and hope to see you soon and celebrate together!!

This is gonna be a little bit of nothing post too. But, how do you like my little ticker?? isn't she cute?? That is totally me too, only not on skates, I'd be flat on my bum. not that coordinated. But I rock o/ to my mp3 player on the elliptical and am a pretty fast walker these days:) She'll change as my goals change, they are a little at a time you know?? I met the 1st one, and am on my way to the 2cd then will come another, and another till I get to my long term...

Hope your holidays are going well so far! I've been to 3 Christmas parties so far already. And have 3 to go I think. We're having Christmas w/ my mom and the inlaws here this year. Which is a 2cd, but I'm actually cooking. So we'll see..... I do feel good about taking the burden off of my mil after her health issues this past year. Let's just hope I do the food justice!

So, with that, Merry Christmas!!

..and a side order of breasts please?

I went shopping last night. I got an unexpected check in the mail and dh and I agreed that I should use it to get a couple more pieces of clothes. It's a hard call when you know you're going to eventually outgrow them again. But I think I made good choices. Got to go w/ my bff and we had a good time. So, now I have a couple cute pairs of jeans, 4 shirts, and 1 pair of dress pants that fit just right. It's kind of like shopping for maternity clothes, you know you're only going to be in this place for a temporary period.

Anyhoo, A couple of the shirts I tried on, made very plain the fact that at least 10 of the lbs I've lost, have come from my boobs. The shirts would be much cuter on someone who still had breasts. Ronnie said I need a wonder bra. I was never really well endowed, but now, it's just sad. really. I never thought I'd be one of those woman who bought the bras w/ the padding in them. Now, I'll be 1st in line! That is the next thing on the list, new bras, complete w/ whatever it takes to make me at least appear to have breasts again.

As we were leaving the store I noticed a cute sweater on a manikin. I told Ronnie, "now if I could just get that sweater, and those boobs."

my weightloss journey...

I didn't talk about it for awhile Probably the 1st month. I emailed my friend. And walked w/ my partner, and of course, there was the dh. But I didn't really mention it to any one else. I have failed at this so many times b4. Why talk about it to any one this time?? What if this time isn't different?? I had to go back to the doc for a check up or some thing in 2 weeks, and of course, they want to weigh you, and I had lost 4 lbs. I was impressed. Then I had to go back again in 2 weeks, and I had lost 8 lbs. I was really impressed. 12 lbs!? When was the last time I had done that?? Probly when I was pregnant and puking, lol!

I figured I was on the right track w/ what I was doing. It was at that point that I had no more doc appts, and just asked if I could come back and get weighed. They were more than happy to oblige me.

A little more on the water. Yes, I do go more often than most people. But, it's a good thing, b/c your body has a lot of toxins in it. Drinking water flushes them out. I like to think about that when I go, I'm getting bad stuff o/o my body. Also, dehydration causes headaches, getting more water can get rid of some of those. I know that sometimes in my own kids when they complain of headaches, the 1st thing I do is ask them how much they've drank that day. I do get tired of water. It's then that I drink more of my own little concoction. I'ts just green tea w/ lemon. I sweeten it w/ stevia. But it's calorie free, caffeine free, so it won't dehydrate me, and it's still doing the same thing water was. Also, you can just pop in those little crystal light things into your bottles of water if you like. I try to stay away from aspartame and that though. (altho not always, i am still slightly addicted to diet dr. pepper, but that's a whole other post....)

And ya, sometimes 1500 calories a day just sucks. But I look at what I want my end result to be. And I can't get that any other way. Yes, I screw up sometimes. And in the beginning I beat myself up bad about it. I was so sure that b/c of the one time I ate a little too much, or went o/ to dinner the next time I got weighed I wasn't going to have lost anything. Which of course wasn't the case. If you screw up, you move on to the next day. Or the afternoon, or the evening.

At least that's what I do, on my journey....