stupid cancer

stupid cancer.
been home from relay for life for a little while now.
stuff mulling around in my head.
my friend that lost her son this year spoke.

i've often wondered how they go on.
how anyone in their shoes gets up in the morning and lives another day.
i know they do it b/c they have to.
they are alive in this world.
but as the days went on after the funeral i thought of them often.
and wondered.
how does your world keep spinning after this loss.

19 weeks and 5 days.
that's what she said.
it struck me,
it's only been 19 weeks?
it seems like longer.
i wondered if she knew how many hours also.
i bet she did.

tomorrow, while i will get up a little bleary eyed,
a little sore and tired.
i will gripe to myself that it's early.
i want coffee.
why can't church start at 3 in the afternoon.
she will get up, maybe bleary eyed,
and think to herself,
19 weeks, 6 days.

so i tell myself.
tomorrow, get up. hug my kids extra tight.
there are no guarantees in this world.
be thankful.