Monday, April 30, 2012

So, much to say. Scott graduated on Saturday. He now has his Bachelors degree. I'm very proud of him:) And he graduated with honors, cum laude:) He starts again in the Fall on his Masters Degree. Should be fun. 

Last June one of my cousins that I rarely see was up from Texas, he has lost a bunch of weight also, and we were both running, I got the bright idea for both of us to run a race together. Knowing that he is over 6 foot and much faster than me, I just thought it would be fun to do something healthy together. I found a race, with an extremely easy, flat course. I had trained for months. I wanted this race to be my fastest yet. I started off and all of a sudden couldn't breath. I had old ladies passing me. I got flustered and all my training flew out the window. My cousin finished and came back for me thinking this was a nice thing to do. We did figure out that day that there was like 93% humidity. gimney, no wonder I couldn't I breath. I had chest pains and everything.

Since that failure, I became extremely discouraged. I had worked SO hard. Had BEEN working SO hard. Then in January I remember sitting in a room full of people who were talking about wanting to be more physically fit thinking I'm in better shape than every single person in this room, but I'm also the biggest person here. So, I gave up. I quit trying. I was so tired of working so hard and not getting anywhere. I hadn't lost weight in over a year. Just maintained. Our gym membership came up for renewal, I did all the paper work and haven't signed them yet. I haven't had the money for it, but in the past, I would have found it. 

So, now i've gained some of the weight back. That is extremely hard for me to say. All my life I've been over weight, and one reason I never tried before was b/c I never wanted to go up and down. I haven't even weighed myself lately. I don't want to know. I just know my body and what it looked like before and how my clothes fit. I even have some clothes that don't fit. 

This past week I started putting into motion some of the things I know I need to do to be healthy again. Drinking water, walking, controlling my eating. I walked I think 5 or 6 days last week. I'm hoping to start our membership up this week also. May not happen tho. I have an Open House to help pay for:) 

I just thought putting it out there, owning it would help me be accountable. I know that once I started talking about it before, it helped. 

Monday, April 9, 2012

So much, too much...

So, I have so much on my mind tonight. I'm sitting here filling out a form to see if my middle son will be diagnosed with ADD. If so, that would mean that all 3 of my children will have either have ADD or ADHD. I can honestly say that when I dreamt of having children, I never dreamt of this.

And then there is my oldest. Who had a seizure yesterday afternoon. It was terrifying. I've never seen anyone have a seizure before, much less my own child. We spent the afternoon in the ER. All the tests came back normal, they said that it's very common for strobe light toys to send people into seizures, but were surprised that he had never had one before, since there was so much family history. I have a lot of questions. Usually in things like this I dive into it and find answers. I haven't touched it. I'm too scared of what I'll find. We have an appt on Thursday with his primary care giver. I'm not sure what will happen then, the ER doc said they will probably order an EEG.

And then there's my mom. She had hip replacement surgery on March 19th. And it's been a whirlwind ever since. I had no idea it would be this hard. I love her so much and I'm so happy to help her, but it's really hard. My kids were really helpful in that first week when I had a birth in the middle of it. And one of her friends has taken her to a couple of appts, my aunt took her to one appt, but other than that it's been all on me. She has 2 or 3 appts a week. Add that to the appts that my own kids have and my calender is a nightmare. I wish she had more people to help run her places. I'm taking her food, cleaning her house, taking her to all these appts and then she wants to go to the store while we're out, which of course I would too. I'm just exhausted with all of it. And I know it will be over soon.

Sooo, good news?? I can always find good news:) My baby girl enjoyed her birthday:) Her and her bff made bunnies and Build a Bear. Terribly, terribly expensive. I mean ridiculous. Things at the PCC are going really well. I was privileged to be part of an adoption plan with a young girl earlier this year. It was an amazing, beautiful experience. I feel that the Lord is leading me down a new path of ministry that involves adoption. That said, it involves much prayer, heck, my whole life involves much prayer these days! I couldn't possibly get thru a day with out it.