Last June one of my cousins that I rarely see was up from Texas, he has lost a bunch of weight also, and we were both running, I got the bright idea for both of us to run a race together. Knowing that he is over 6 foot and much faster than me, I just thought it would be fun to do something healthy together. I found a race, with an extremely easy, flat course. I had trained for months. I wanted this race to be my fastest yet. I started off and all of a sudden couldn't breath. I had old ladies passing me. I got flustered and all my training flew out the window. My cousin finished and came back for me thinking this was a nice thing to do. We did figure out that day that there was like 93% humidity. gimney, no wonder I couldn't I breath. I had chest pains and everything.
Since that failure, I became extremely discouraged. I had worked SO hard. Had BEEN working SO hard. Then in January I remember sitting in a room full of people who were talking about wanting to be more physically fit thinking I'm in better shape than every single person in this room, but I'm also the biggest person here. So, I gave up. I quit trying. I was so tired of working so hard and not getting anywhere. I hadn't lost weight in over a year. Just maintained. Our gym membership came up for renewal, I did all the paper work and haven't signed them yet. I haven't had the money for it, but in the past, I would have found it.
So, now i've gained some of the weight back. That is extremely hard for me to say. All my life I've been over weight, and one reason I never tried before was b/c I never wanted to go up and down. I haven't even weighed myself lately. I don't want to know. I just know my body and what it looked like before and how my clothes fit. I even have some clothes that don't fit.
This past week I started putting into motion some of the things I know I need to do to be healthy again. Drinking water, walking, controlling my eating. I walked I think 5 or 6 days last week. I'm hoping to start our membership up this week also. May not happen tho. I have an Open House to help pay for:)
I just thought putting it out there, owning it would help me be accountable. I know that once I started talking about it before, it helped.
Aw Kris, don't feel bad that you backslid a little. It happens. You've already come so far. There is a growing acceptance of health over size. I've also noticed a growing acceptance of bigger girls/women too, esp. on Facebook.
ReplyDeleteAnd congrats to Scott and all of you!!!!